So, what was in that?

The sweatshirt I'm wearing in this pic, I've had since I was about 10 years old.
It has a dinosaur on the front! I really like dinosaurs.

I was just sitting down on my red bean bag in my living room. There was no television on, no window open and no radio. I had opened the curtains so that warmth could stream in but I was just far enough into the living room that sunlight didn't touch me. I had picked up the latest issue of Empire magazine and the writer was discussing another of their fabulous on-set reports. I thought how great it would be to talk to the director, amongst the action, people like Harrison Ford or George Clooney just walking around with a sandwich in between takes. Gaffers and Best Boys and Stand-Ins just doing what they do.

Then something occurred to me. Have you ever eaten at a restaurant or a friend's place and the meal was so incredible you asked, "So, what was in that"? The response would be something like, "You don't wanna know". Well, in a way, I think that's how I feel about film.

The other day I was talking to a friend about working in commercial radio. I mentioned that when I do my weekly segment I'm in then out and that's it. Bang. He brought up that he knew a girl on a different station, a breakfast host, and I could see that familiar glint in his eye. The one that people have when they walk into a studio for the first time or see their favorite DJ on the street. Wow, look, that's...! I told him I remembered those feelings, that glint. I remembered when I first worked in commercial radio and how being there made me feel. Then, after a while it became just another 9-5 where greed, gossip and selfish desires have murdered any real appreciation for the genre. He said that radio had been demystified for me. I suddenly realized that was true.

So when I was sitting there contemplating being 'amongst it' in Hollywood I again had a realization. My house is quite comfortable, my living room feels nice, I like just lounging here reading about people who are amongst it. I think that, should I travel to Hollywood, write for a huge website or magazine, become known enough for doors to open to studios and sets, I might just lose what started me on this path in the first place.

I love movies. Like any good writer, or at least any caring one, I would be a fool to desire a path that would destroy my original inspiration. I would demystify movies and for that important reason, I'm happier with the red bean bag than strolling around a shoot with Daniel Craig in his Bond suit or visiting Pixar's animation studios.


*Interviews for me are different. They can happen over the phone or during publicity just before or just after a film has already been released. The project is a whole. The recipe has already been cooked. I've read interviews since I could read and it's never served to demystify the process. I believe seeing a film constructed before me might.